A Study of Arranged Marriage

All of the blog entries so far have been based on my own experience in India and talking to people I know who are more familiar with arranged marriages. The information presented here comes from a book review.

There are a few commonly held myths which are dispelled by this article. First, arranged marriage does not always mean that the bride and groom meet for the first time on their wedding day. Sometimes parents or relatives will introduce a couple who will then go out on a few dates in order to get to know each other with the prospects of marriage on their minds. Second, forced arranged marriages do happen, but not on a normal basis.

Reva Seth wrote this book because of her interest in the fact that arranged marriages are organized after considering more than just love, intimacy, and sexual attraction. After interviewing more than 300 women who had arranged marriages in the US, UK, and Canada, Seth concludes that the first thing that happens in an arranged marriage is that the couple will get to know each other and build a life and family together. This process is easier and moves more smoothly if the two have similar backgrounds, goals, and expectations. After building a life together, the affection and intimacy grows.

In her book, Seth argues that arranged marriages are more durable than love marriages. In order to be happy, a woman does not have to love the man that she marries. She says that “common interests are less important than shared values.”


Pais, Arthur J. “Reva Seth speaks up for arranged marriages." India Abroad [New York]04 Jul 2008: Community News.

***This is a picture of my friends Mukta and Ajay during their engagement ceremony.